Have an Upcoming 1st Date in Pittsburgh? Our Matchmakers Are Here for You!

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Everyone has fears when it comes to first dates. Today, our professional matchmakers from Pittsburgh Singles Dating Service will solve all your first date worries so you can head out with confidence!

Everyone gets nervous before going on a date, especially if you’re a shy person. Those first date nerves can transform into full blown anxiety, which can be devastating. The days and hours leading up to the date can be worrisome and you might end up trying to avoid the date altogether. But your worries about dating don’t have to keep you from finding local singles and having a good time.

In our 25 years of matchmaking experience in the Pittsburgh dating industry, we have collected the top first date worries and come up with solutions for all of them. Our inside scoop to first dates will help your approach to dating and finding love.

Pittsburgh Matchmakers

“I will be shy and awkward.”

You worry that you might spill your drink or say something bad, something offensive, or embarrassing. But the truth is, many people have done this before, and there are always awkward silences, and perhaps an embarrassing situation here and there (like running into an ex, tripping, or spilling a glass of wine). Don’t let this stop you from dating.

The first thing you need to understand is that these things can happen to anyone, and even if they happen to you, they will not destroy your first date. You need to accept this fact. And if it happens to you, we want you to handle the embarrassment. Acceptance is the idea that you can’t change what’s already happened. You need to understand that you will have more experiences as you go through dating. Some will be fun, some will be awkward, some will give you anxiety, and others might be embarrassing.

You can’t control what’s going to happen in the future; however, what you can control is your reaction when it happens. Rather than pushing them away or trying to hide and never date again, you can simply accept the fact that it’s okay when they do happen. Embarrassing things happen to everyone daily, but they only last for ra few seconds. You’ll move on and they’ll pass. If you can, handle these types of situations with humor.

“I can’t handle the uncertainties.”

On any date, there will be uncertainty. Will the two of you click? Will you hug or kiss each other? Who handles the bill? When will you know that the date is over? Should you arrange another date? For many singles, the uncertainties of dating drive them crazy. Like if you are a woman, who is supposed to handle the bill? Should you offer to pay? This is especially confusing because in this modern dating world, it’s okay now for woman to split the bill. This should help to eliminate some of the uncertainties on your next date.

Another example, if you like the person, don’t be afraid to tell them you had a good time with them. We need to be honest with you here. It’s virtually impossible to eliminate all uncertainties. Here’s where learning to observe comes into play in the dating world. You need to be more flexible and learn to embrace the unknown. Our Pittsburgh matchmakers know that uncertainties don’t necessarily have to be scary. The unknown can actually be fun when you learn to embrace it.

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“My anxiety will come out.”

If you show physical signs when you get nervous, you might worry that those signs (like turning red, sweating, or shaking your voice), will show. This worry can prevent you from having a good time and engaging your date.
While your instinct may be to sit and monitor yourself to see if any of the nervous signs are getting bad (Am I turning red? Has she noticed me sweating?), the fact is, because you are trying to monitor the signs, you’re only making everything worse. Rather than focusing on the things you don’t want to happen, why not focus on having a good time with the person you’re out with? Try focusing your attention on your date, not yourself. Listen to them, ask them questions, and share a story about yourself so they feel open to share one with you. In other words, forget about being nervous and have a good time.

“They will judge me.”

You might worry that the person you’re going out with won’t like the way you look or that they’ll be critical about the things you say. The first thing you need to understand is that if someone is judgmental, mean, or behaves rudely towards you, it’s actually all about them and not about you.

Another way you can get over your fear of judgment is by self-compassion. Self-compassion means treating yourself kindly and with understanding. Having self-compassion lets you care less of what people think of you because you have accepted yourself for who you truly are. When you like yourself, you’re confident in who you are, and what people think of you means nothing anymore.

“They will reject me.”

Another worry many singles have is the fear of being rejected. Your date might not show up, they might not reciprocate your feelings, they might not want to see you again. In order to help you get over this fear, our Pittsburgh matchmakers want you to understand that not all dates you go out on will work. Face it, rejection is a part of dating and it happens to everyone.

Yes, being rejected does hurt, but the sting of it fades away quickly. You can even help reduce the sting by understanding rejecting happens to everyone at some point.

Next, you need to remember that dating is a 50/50 type of scenario. Both of you are responsible for contributing to the date itself. It’s not all up to you to make the date go well, and it’s up to both of you to decide whether or not you want to see each other again. If the answer is no, it doesn’t mean it’s because either of you are judging each other. It just means that both of you are not a good match for each other. No biggie, you move on. Dating is a number’s game and once you understand that, you will be much better at it.

If you’re struggling meet like-minded, compatible singles in Pittsburg, contact our matchmaking professionals here at Pittsburgh Singles Dating Service to set up a consultation today. Let us introduce you to quality singles who have the same dating expectations as you. Let us transform your love life.

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